© 1998 JASON WOLF - LEGAL

Digital Design, UX, UI, Strategy, Vfx

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MY LIFE

 

 

I was born in the zip code 49126, in a town called Sodus.

 

My only father figure was my grandfather, my values are from the 30ies not the 80ies because of him.

 

I love Benny Goodman & Helen Forrest.

 

He was a water well driller and the company business was called Handy Well Drilling.He taught me all there is to know about well drilling. I have a lot of random arcane knowledge, such as welding, acetylene cutting, lathing, electrical wiring, plumbing and know a lot about WWII and DC-3s as my grandfather and I hung-out at his local VFW and talked shop.

 

My grandfather left me his BC-348 Army signal corps radio from his DC-3 and it’s sitting on top of my bookcase. It use to contain TNT so it could be destroyed without the enemy getting a hold of the top secret crystals it contained. note: it still works.

 

I split my time being raised half in the city and half in the country.

 

I rebuild a 1975 VW scirocco one summer.

 

I had a custom built go-cart with an embroidered leather seat that said “Twister” on it.

 

My mother had me in those swimming baby classes – I have NO memory of every learning how to swim, and thought everyone knew how.

 

I LOVED climbing trees – I broke my left arm falling out of one when I was 6.

 

I taught myself how to draw, my step-father thought I would be an architect.

 

I was an only child but had 9 cousins to either beat up on or to get beat up by.

 

When I was very young I thought I could fly and just needed practice.

 

I used to practice Ninjitsu and think I was a ninja in a past life.

 

I can jump from very high places and not get hurt.

 

I can tell the difference between 110 volts and 220 volts by touching live wires.

 

By 10 years old I had built my first 10,000 volt Jacob’s ladder from discarded gas station neon light transformers.

 

At 16 I created a “copper collector coil” to collect electromagnetic energy from underneath the giant high tension power lines.

 

I once pulled a power meter out and put it back in upside down, it ran backwards for over a month and the electric company sent my grandfather a refund check and an apology letter.

 

I use to make homemade blasting powder in the kitchen the same time my mother was cooking dinner.

 

When I was 2 years old I dumped a gallon of white paint on the rug.

 

I’ve chased my cousin through an apple orchard while driving an old chevy impala and he was running on foot, the brakes gave out and I crashed into a tree.

 

I once found 2 tons of explosives and hid it in my closets, the police bomb squad came to my front door at 11pm in one of those crazy suits demanding them. An entire city block was evacuated and I was the cover article of the SF chronicle the next morning.

 

My grandparents had so much land that it took me over 4 hours to mow their backyard with the riding mower. I would listen to Debbie Gibson while mowing.

 

All summer long we would collect leaves and branches and then have a 200 foot high fire. I once tossed a “do not toss into fire” can of bug spray into the fire, it exploded into a giant ball of blue flames, and 2 minutes later the can fell to the ground in front of us.

 

I’ve jousted on riding mowers with broomsticks.

 

I took a chainsaw blade and cut it into two smaller pieces and attached it to the spinning part of a weed whacker – instead of the flimsy fishing line.. I then cut down a small tree with it.

 

I once poured gasoline into a styrofoam cup, do it, see what happens.

 

My grandfather said to me once – there is no problem so big that it can’t be solved with high explosives.

 

I cut my hand really bad with a box cutter and needed 7 stitches, I was making a bamboo water fall.

 

I’ve raised a litter of puppies.

 

I’ve raised a BIG litter of kittens.

 

I’ve incubated and raised baby chicks.

 

I snuck onto the back door of a muni bus and the driver caught me at told me “next time” in a very ominous way, for years I always carried twice as much bus fare afraid I would run into that same driver! – I never did.

 

I once found a wallet with hundreds of dollars.

 

When I was young my mother use to take me to goofy golf because I could always make a hole in one through the opening and closing clown mouth to win a free pizza. My step father thought I would be a golf pro.

 

By 14 I could descramble cable TV with an atari 2600 (with no cartridge in it) and piece of tinfoil – I regularly caught my step father watching my TV.

 

I started my first company when I was 17, called InSight Sound & Design, I was going to go to people’s houses and hook up all their electronics.

 

In middle school one of my best friends was Andy Berry, one of my first high school girlfriends was Tammy Berry – they weren’t related.

 

My high school had close to 3000 applicants but accepted only 150 students, I was number 93.

 

I was reeeally good at fencing and Aikido

 

The same week I was going to prom I saw a scooter someone left the keys in. I took it, and took my date to the prom on a stolen scooter.

 

She rode side saddle and was very excited because it was “hot.” It worked, as we married years later. I left the scooter in a bus stop and it was returned to its owner.

 

I purchased, brand new a 1989 Honda CBR 600 sport bike for $4,100 a week later it was stolen. See prior sentence as to why it was stolen.

 

I purchased a used Yamaha 600 and made payments to the owner for $200 a month, the same month I paid it off, the police called and found my stolen CBR 600 in a bus stop. It was trashed, the damage estimate from Golden Gate Cycles was $2500.

 

I got a job at Golden Gate Cycles as a pre-delivery inspector. I was responsible for assembling and test riding every yamaha, suzuki and honda and delivering them to the showroom floor. As soon as my CBR 600 was fixed I quit. I saved 40% fixing my CBR

 

I built a laser pattern generator when I was 17 and my physics teacher was jealous of me.

 

I’ve replicated Tesla’s earthquake machine while working at the Exploratorium.

 

I’ve slide down a twisty slide and landed naked into a 6 foot deep tank of bird seed.

 

I’ve sent my voice over a self made laser beam.

 

While I was riding the bus someone pulled a knife on a lady, I was standing between them, I grabbed the knife hand, spun around and elbowed the guy in the face, he fell to the ground. The police report collected all my info and the lady wouldn’t stop calling me at home thanking me and wanting to cook dinner for me.

 

My 2 wheeled vehicles – Arctic Cat 2HP motor bike, a 50cc scooter, a 5HP go-kart that would do 55MPH while 1 inch off the ground, a 1989 Honda CBR 600, a Yamaha 600, a 1999 CBR 600, a 2006 VFR interceptor with ABS, Yamaha 350XT and (currently) a Honda CBR 650.

 

My 4 wheeled vehicles – Toyota Corolla, Toyota 4Runner, Audi A4, Volvo S70-T5, a VW new beetle, Acura Integra, Volvo S40, Lexus RX330, Acura TSX, Chevy Camero, Toyota Sienna AWD and Toyota Tacoma

 

I’m a 2nd degree FreeMason and was initiated in Los Gatos California.

 

I worked for Industrial Light & Magic on the feature film Willow. I never met Val Kilmer.

 

I’ve built an electrical device that used magnets to get more energy out than it took in. It was a replication of Tesla’s radient energy patent from 1900. I tried to seak VC funding for it.

 

I rode my CBR 600 at 148MPH.

 

I’ve laid in the sarcophagus of the kings chamber of the great pyramid with no lights on for an hour.

 

I’m a certified scuba diver.

 

I threw a water balloon out a 4 story window and it went into the open sunroof of a Jaguar.

 

I wrote the first book on “Shockwave” the first animation tool for the internet.

 

I can bend just the tips of my fingers.

 

My knees are double jointed which made me pretty good at learning to ski – my step father thought I would be a skiing pro.

 

I can throw throwing stars into the steps of a wooden ladder.

 

I have 9 patents (6 for Microsoft and 3 for SAP Labs)

 

I once rigged a windshield wiper cleaner system to pump vodka through the firewall into the car like a soda dispensing machine.

 

When you hit the washer switch and held a glass under the dash it would fill it with vodka.

 

My highschool was pretty uneventful.

 

I’ve been to Burning Man three times and want to go again.

 

I have two original addition 17th century books written by Paracelsus, I won them at auction.

 

I’ve written like 6 books but am a terrible speller.

 

I paint, mostly acrylic.

 

I love techno, electronic music.

 

I can fix almost anything.

 

I have 5 tattoos.

 

I was friends with Steve Jobs and got him to donate 13 Mac’s to the company I work for.

 

I recycle.

 

I was hard core vegan for over 3 years.

 

I’ve passed a kidney stone.

 

I’m an INTP, I enjoy thinking more than anything, I take things in via my intuition. I ignore existing rules and opinions and define my own approach to problem solving. I’m very tolerant and flexible, unless one of my beliefs is challenged. I’m very independent, unconventional, and original. I’m strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows me to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTPs! INTPs are considered the pioneers of new thoughts in a society.

 

I’ve argued about business with Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Hasso Plattner.

 

I’ve lived in 16 different apartments.

 

I own a house in Seattle but only lived in it for 6 months.

 

I hate Microsoft, for so many reasons.

 

I hate tomatoes too.

 

I’ve written a New York Times best seller.

 

I’ve put mentos into diet coke and it really explodes.

 

As a way to try and control my thinking I often try and think of every screw in the entire world at the same time and multiply all the torque they must be holding.

 

I was once in really good shape, I weighed 195 and had 6% body fat.

 

Blade Runner is one of the best movies ever made.

 

I watched every episode of the X-Files.

 

I once spoke to an insurance agent about insuring my brain.

 

I can make lightning.

 

I’m very concerned about additives, GMO and health.

I once paid, well A LOT  to get the Beach Boys back together for a song that I custom wrote titled "Help me Hana" (instead of help me Rhonda) it was a 70th birthday gift to the founder of SAP Hasso Plattner